Hey! Look! I'm You!
by xoBeautifulXDisasterxo
Summary: Jack will never understand Elizabeth. Elizabeth will never understand Jack. So what happens when they switch bodies? And how will they get back to normal? VERY FUNNY! Please Read and Review! Rated T just to be safe!
1. Will They Ever Understand?

**Sadly I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean! The big Disney Company in the sky does. I'm just a fan writing stories for that movie! This story totally disregards what happened in World's End! But anyway, here's my newest story ad I hope you all like it! Please Review at the end! Thanks!**

**XObeautifulXdisasterXO**

Will and Elizabeth were standing on the deck of the Black Pearl watching the sunset.

"It's beautiful!" whispered Elizabeth.

"Just like you!" Will added. The two stared into each other's eyes.

"Drink up me hearties yoho!" Jack Sparrow coming out of his cabin, rum bottle in hand. He walked across the deck to where Will and Elizabeth were standing. As he did, he tripped and the rum bottle went flying. It broke by Elizabeth's feet, splashing rum on her dress.

"Jack!" she exclaimed. "That's the third dress this month that you've ruined! This one was my favorite!"

"Don't see why you like them so much! They look bloody uncomfortable!" Jack mumbled.

"You would understand if you were a woman!" Elizabeth huffed.

"Well that's not going to happen anytime soon, love is it?" Jack said with a smile.

"Will, I'll be back. I'm sure I have an extra dress somewhere in our room." Elizabeth hurried over to the other side of the ship and opened the door to the cabin Will and her shared now that they were married. She shut the door behind her and walked over to her sea chest and opened it. She pulled out a simple dress she could wear. She threw off her dress, leaving her just in her corset and stockings…..

* * *

Jack had a little too much rum. He was a little confused about where things were on his ship. He walked over to the cabin he thought was his but really wasn't, and opened the door….

Elizabeth heard the door open behind her.

"Oh Will! I can't stand Jack!" she exclaimed, still in her corset and stockings.

"You do love?" Elizabeth turned around to see Jack standing in the doorway, smiling.

Elizabeth screamed.

"GET OUT!" she grabbed a brush and threw it at his head. Jack ducked and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

Elizabeth sat in bed that nigh, reading. Will had the night watch. A small breeze blew in through the open window. Elizabeth got up and closed it, sighing. She heard Jack singing outside.

"Jack, we'll never understand each other." She said, as she crawled back in bed. She blew the candle out and fell asleep.

Jack sang as he walked across the deck.

"Elizabeth, Elizabeth. We've known each other for a while now, but even if we know each other for eternity, I will never understand you." He mumbled.

* * *

Jack awoke to the sun in his eyes. He yawned. He didn't remember falling asleep the night before. He rubbed his head. He had another headache.

"Do these bloody things ever go away?!?!" he exclaimed. He opened his eyes.

"Oh bugger!" he thought. "This is Elizabeth's room!" He got up quickly, wondering how he had gotten in here in the first place. He stood up, feeling shorter. He looked around. He was alone in the room.

"Either she's up already and Will's standing outside ready to kill me or I'm dreaming!" Jack mumbled. He opened the door slowly and peeked his head out. Well at least Will wasn't waiting for him. He walked out a little farther. No one was on deck! Jack sighed.

"Good morning!" Jack jumped and saw that Will was standing behind him, smiling.

'This isn't what it looks like! I can explain!" Jack yelled.

"Explain what?" Will walked over and kissed Jack on the cheek. Jack jumped back.

"Don't do that!" he yelled. "I'm not the one who loves you!" Will looked at him funny.

"Are you feeling alright, Elizabeth?" Will asked.

"Elizabeth!?!? I'm not Elizabeth!" Jack exclaimed.

"Yes you are…" Will said. Jack looked down at himself. He was in a nightgown. He ran his hand through his hair. It was shorter. His voice was higher. He ran back into the cabin and looked in the mirror. Will was right! He was Elizabeth! Jack screamed.

* * *

Elizabeth awoke to screaming. She moaned. Her head hurt. She opened her eyes. She was lying on a barrel. She sat up.

"How'd this happen?? Did I pass out here?!?! Where's Will?!?!" Elizabeth exclaimed. She jumped off the barrel. Will walked over to her.

"Will….what's going on?" she asked.

"Something's wrong with Elizabeth!" Will exclaimed.

"But I'm Elizabeth!" Elizabeth said. "What happened? I awoke lying on that barrel!" Will looked her puzzled. "What's going on, Jack? Are you alright?'

"Jack! I'm not Jack! Why on earth would you call me that?!?!" Elizabeth leaned in to kiss Will. He jumped back.

"What's the matter with you two?!?!" Will exclaimed.

"What are you talking about??!?" Elizabeth exclaimed. She looked down at herself. She wasn't in her nightgown but in pants. She ran her hand through her hair. It was greasy. She was about the same height as Will and her voice was deeper. She ran over to the side of the ship and looked in the water to see her reflection. Will was right! She was Jack! Elizabeth screamed…..

* * *

**Well what do you think??? Should I keep going??? Please comment and review! I love feedback! Thanks!**


	2. The Switch

Elizabeth screamed. "Where's Jack…I mean Elizabeth??!" she exclaimed.

"She ran into our room, screaming." Will explained. "I don't know what's gotten into you two."

Elizabeth in Jack's body ran towards the room. She knocked on the door.

"Ello?" she called. Suddenly the door swung open and there stood Elizabeth's body. It screamed and then slammed the door. Elizabeth rolled her eyes and opened the door. She saw her body looking in the mirror.

"Ummm…excuse me….whoever you are…but I would like my body back." Elizabeth said arms crossed.

* * *

Jack looked at himself. "Your body?!??! Elizabeth?"

"Jack?"

"Well this is interesting…." Jack mumbled. "I'm you. And you're me."

"Well, I am going to tell Will…" Elizabeth tried to walk out, but Jack stopped her.

"We can't tell young William! He'll think we're mad!" Jack exclaimed.

"You already are mad, Jack!" Elizabeth added.

"You can't tell him." Jack said.

"So what you're saying is that we just pretend like nothing happened and be each other?" Elizabeth asked.

"Exactly!" Jack exclaimed.

"Well remember, you are married to Will." Elizabeth added.

"You two are married!?!?" Jack exclaimed.

"Of course we're married…or you're married…or…now I have a bloody headache!" Elizabeth mumbled.

"That makes both of us!" Jack mumbled.

"Oh Jack, what do we do?" wailed Elizabeth. She put her head on Jack's shoulder. Jack was a little taken back, but patted her back.

"Uhh…there….there…Lizzi." He said. Suddenly Will came in.

* * *

"Elizabeth I……." Will started to say when he saw Jack resting his head on Elizabeth's shoulder. Jack looked up. "Oh…Will…I was just…" Will grabbed Jack and pushed him against the wall.

"What are you doing Jack?" he hissed.

"I can explain!" Jack exclaimed.

"Turner….I mean Will….unhand me I mean…Liz…I mean Jack!" Elizabeth said, calmly. "Jack wasn't feeling well and I was making sure he was alright."

Will put Jack down. Jack sighed.

"Now if you excuse us, I have to make sure he's alright." Elizabeth said again. "We'll only be a few minutes."

Will hesitated then opened the door and walked out.

"What has gotten into them?" he mumbled to himself.

"Well that was close!" Jack said. Elizabeth rubbed her shoulder. "Tell me about it." Elizabeth mumbled. "So this means we must be each other?"

Jack nodded. Elizabeth looked at him.

"But I will not let you walk around in a nightgown!" Elizabeth said. "It's not proper!"

"It's fine!" Jack augured!

"No, it isn't. Here!" She walked over to the sea chest and pulled out a pair of pants and an off white shirt and some boots.

"You can wear this!"

"Fine!" Jack mumbled. "But go outside and assure Will that nothing is wrong and that I'll be out in a few minutes?" Elizabeth nodded and hurried outside. Will was waiting.

"Everything's fine! Elizabeth wanted me to tell you that she's changing out of her nightgown and into something proper." Elizabeth explained.

"I'm watching you Jack." Will replied.

"Oh! Lovely!" Elizabeth mumbled.

* * *

10 minutes later Jack came out in not what Elizabeth told him to wear. He was wearing a corset and a pair of pants and boots. He also had a rum bottle in hand. He smiled at Will.

"Hello….William!" he said.

"Elizabeth! What are you wearing?!?" exclaimed Elizabeth.

"I agree with Jack!" Will said.

"What? You don't like the bad girl type?" asked Jack as he drank.

"When did you ever drink rum?" asked Elizabeth.

"Hmmmmm….now." Jack replied.

"Give me that!" Elizabeth grabbed it out of Jack's hand. "And go change into something proper! You will not walk around like that! You're married!" Elizabeth pushed Jack back into the room and slammed the door.

"I'm going to need this!" she mumbled as she looked at the bottle.


	3. Poor Ol' William Turner

Jack came out in the outfit. He kept pulling on his shirt. Elizabeth smiled.

"That's better!" she sighed. She began to drink the rum. Jack looked at her wide eyed and drooled a little.

"Rum…." He reached his hands out to try to grab it, but Elizabeth pulled it away.

"Elizabeth, it's not proper for a woman as beautiful and proper as you to drink rum." Elizabeth said with a shake of her head.

"Proper….proper…" mumbled Jack. "And how do you wear these bloody corsets!?!"

"You get use to it. Don't worry. Your body grows numb to where you can't feel the pain anymore." Elizabeth answered.

"What?!?!" exclaimed Jack.

"It's just a joke…." Elizabeth said with a smile.

"You…."

"Ah. Elizabeth…." The two turned to see Will walking towards them. "You look beautiful as always."

"Uhhhh….thank…you…Will…." Jack said.

"I agree with Will." Elizabeth smiled. Jack glared at Elizabeth who just continued to drink the rum.

"You torture me, love." Jack mumbled under his breath.

"What did you say?" Will asked.

"Oh. Nothing, dear. Just that you would never be as great as a pirate as Captain Jack Sparrow, one of the 9 pirate lords, the one who saved me from that terrible island when Barbossa marooned me…." Jack said with a smile. Elizabeth glared at him.

"No you saved us Elizabeth! While I was asleep, you made that giant fire out of the rum. The Navy saw it and rescued us. All thanks to your quick thinking." Elizabeth added with a smile.

The two glared at each other.

"What has gotten into you two?" Will asked.

"I have no idea." mumbled Elizabeth. Will turned to Jack.

"Can I talk to you alone?" Will asked.

"Ummm….I don't think now's the best time." Jack said.

"Go with him…"mouthed Elizabeth, who was standing behind Will.

"But on second thought, maybe I should." Jack added. Will took his arm and the two walked across the deck.

* * *

"What's gotten into, Elizabeth? You haven't seemed yourself today." Will said. 

"Oh, I have a small cold. It's been bothering me today. Cough Cought. Very contagious! So I wouldn't stand so close. I would hate for you to get sick." Jack said.

Will took Elizabeth's hand. "Is there something going on between you and Jack?"

"No nothing! Me and Jack are getting along! He's such a good man. Brave, tall, handsome, daring…."

"Are you hiding something?" Will asked. "Whatever it is you can tell me."

"I'm not hiding anything! What's to hide? Nothing!" Elizabeth exclaimed. Will looked deep into her eyes.

* * *

"Oh, bugger. He's doing that deep eye thing." Jack thought to himself. "Maybe I should look away." Jack turned away and looked out at sea. He began thinking about rum. "When I get my body back….we're heading straight for Tortuga and I'm buying a shipload of rum and I'm going to drink it all."

* * *

"Elizabeth…" Will called. But he could see that Elizabeth was off in her own little world. She was mumbling to herself. The only word he could pick out was rum. Will knew that this was not the Elizabeth he knew. 

"I'm losing her…" he thought. Will put his hand on her face and turned her towards him. He leaned in and kissed her…

* * *

Jack didn't notice Will's hand on his face. He was too deep in thought. He didn't even notice Will turn his face or Elizabeth's face** (grr! I'm the writer and I'm getting confused! Ha!) **towards him. 

"I'm going to make up a song about rum! Rum rum! It's so yummy! Rum Rum Rum Rum Rum!" Jack was thinking. Jack finally snapped out of it when Will's lips touched his. Will was kissing him and holding him really close to him. Jack tried to wiggle free, but Will held tighter. Jack slapped Will and Will let go. Jack looked at Will and screamed. He took off running across the deck. He ran back over to Elizabeth and grabbed the rum bottle from her hand.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "I was still drinking that!" Jack began to drink and sighed. He fell to the deck. Will came rushing over. When Jack saw Will, he screamed again and started running.

* * *

"Jack! I have no idea what's gotten into her!" Will exclaimed. Elizabeth looked at Will. For a moment, she forgot she was in Jack's body, plus Elizabeth had a little too much rum, and since she wasn't use to it's affects on a person. 

"Oh Will…" she whispered. "I love you." Then suddenly she grabbed him and kissed him. Will was trying to wiggle out of her grasp, but he just couldn't. Finally, she let go.

"AHHHH!" she screamed. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M ELIZABETH!" Then she grabbed Will again and started kissing him. Jack was still running around screaming. Then he saw Elizabeth in his body kissing Will.

"Well, now that's interesting…" he mumbled just before he fainted.

* * *

**Special thanks to ****Dollybelleol'whatserface**** on this chapter:)**


	4. Wrong Pirate

"So what you're saying is that you two switched bodies?!" Will exclaimed. Elizabeth-as-Jack nodded.

"Jack didn't want to tell you because he thought you would think that we were crazy!" wailed Elizabeth.

"So I was kissing Jack in your body?" Will asked. Jack-as-Elizabeth nodded.

"And that's something I will soon not forget, mate!" Jack mumbled.

"But Will is a good kisser!" Elizabeth smiled. "You have to give him that.

"I refuse to admit that!" exclaimed Jack.

"Say it!" yelled Elizabeth. "You know it's true!" Jack sighed.

"William's a good kisser." He mumbled. Elizabeth laughed.

"Let's pretend that we never heard that!" Jack said.

"I agree." said Will.

"Then we have an accord, mate?" Jack asked. The two shook on it.

"Agreed." Will said.

"Now how do we get back to normal?" Jack asked. Will and Elizabeth shrugged.

"Maybe we can go see Tia Dalma…she could help." Elizabeth suggested.

"Jack only goes to see her in emergencies." Will said.

"But this is an emergency!" exclaimed Elizabeth.

"She's right! We have to see her!" Jack stood up. The three had been sitting in the captain's cabin. "But I will steer my ship!"

* * *

"What do you mean you can't help us?!?!?" exclaimed Jack. Tia Dalma shrugged.

"I nevar had to deal with this kind of problem before.." she replied.

"So I'm stuck like this forever!?!?!" wailed Elizabeth. "But me and Will just got married!"

"The only way you two can…switch back…is if you understand each other…" said Tia Dalma.

"Well I understand Jack!" said Elizabeth.

"And I understand Elizabeth!" said Jack. The two closed their eyes and waited a few moments. Then Elizabeth opened her eyes.

"Am I me?" she asked.

"No, you're still Jack." Replied Will. Elizabeth started crying.

"Somehow I knew it wasn't going to be that easy.." she sniffled.

* * *

The three friends walked out of Tia Dalma's hut, depressed.

"No what?" asked Jack.

"Tortuga?" suggested Will. Jack smiled. "Tortuga it is."

The three sat at an inn called The Dancing Pony. Jack was very happy because Elizabeth had let him have some of her rum.

"You probably don't love me, Will as this." Elizabeth mumbled.

"Elizabeth…I will always love you no matter who or what you are." Will said.

"Will…I love you…." Elizabeth said.

* * *

A waitress walking by overheard them, and stared at them strangely. Of course, she didn't know that it was a girl trapped in a man's body. She shook her head.

"I see the strangest people doing this job." she mumbled as she walked away. The three friends walked out of the inn. It was now dark. Suddenly someone ran by them.

"Navvy Officers!" he yelled.

"Oh bugger." Mumbled Jack.

"Come on!" Will grabbed Elizabeth's arm and ran the opposite way….except he grabbed Jack-as-Elizabeth instead of Elizabeth-as-Jack….leaving Elizabeth alone to face the officers alone.

* * *

There were three of them. The first one smiled at her.

"Well…well….Captain Jack Sparrow…all alone." He laughed. "You're under arrest!" The other two grabbed Elizabeth's arms and handcuffed her.

"I'm not Jack!" she exclaimed. They just laughed at her and dragged her back to the ship.

* * *

"Ok…I think we lost them!" Will painted. He looked up and instead of seeing Elizabeth-as-Jack, he saw Jack-as-Elizabeth.

"I grabbed the wrong person!?!?!" Will exclaimed.

"I tried to tell you…" Jack shrugged.

"Where's Elizabeth then!?!" Will exclaimed.

"This way…." Jack dashed off and Will followed him. Finally Jack stopped up ahead.

"Here we are!" Jack said.

"This is the Dancing Cow…not the Dancing Pony…." Will mumbled. Jack looked at the sign.

"Oh…well don't blame me…all the streets look the same in the dark!" mumbled Jack.

"We've lost her!" exclaimed Will.

Then two drunk men walked by, laughing.

"They finally caught old Captain Jack." one of them laughed.

"And that excuse he gave about being a woman!" The two started laughing again and walked away.

"Great…they caught her!" mumbled Will.

"Don't worry, William! I have a plan." Jack smiled.


	5. Time To Dance!

* * *

Elizabeth-as-Jack sat in a prison cell in Port Royal, her hometown. 

"I was just here a few months ago, except I was me." huffed Elizabeth. She stared out the small cell window.

"Those two better come and rescue me." Elizabeth said to herself. "Before I'm dragged off to be hung."

* * *

A couple made their way to the governor's house at the far end of the town of Port Royal. The couple was a tall young man in a feathered hat and a red cape. The woman wore a light blue dress and carried a fan. There was a big ball that evening. 

The man at the door nodded and let them in. The house was all decorated for the event. In the ballroom, couples were dancing and a band played music.

"Ready?" the man asked.

"As I'll ever be." was the reply. The two made their way towards the ballroom.

"Name?" asked a man.

"Mr. and Mrs……uhhhh…." the man stared to say. He looked at the girl.

"Dutchman….Mr. and Mrs. Lord Dutchman." She replied with a smile.

"Now announcing Mr. and Mrs. Lord Dutchman." called out the man. The couple stepped into the room. Everyone turned to look at them.

"They're staring…" the girl hissed under her breath.

"I'm a lord…that's why!" replied the man. "All thanks to you."

"Why are we here anyway?" she asked.

"To see what we're up against. To get information. The prison is probably well guarded."

"I still say we just go and…"

"Good Evening Lord Dutchman." The two turned around to see the governor standing behind them.

"Good evening, Governor." The man replied.

"I am so glad that you came tonight." The governor said.

"Thank you for inviting me and my wife, Scarlet." the man replied.

"Mrs. Dutchman…." The governor said with a smile. Scarlet held out her hand. The governor kissed it.

"Your home is lovely." Scarlet said with a smile

"Not as lovely as you, my dear." The governor replied. Scarlet giggled and hid her face behind her fan. She whispered something in her husband's ear and danced off into the crowd.

"Governor, I have heard that your men have caught Captain Jack Sparrow." The lord replied.

"Ah, yes. They caught him last evening in Tortuga. The prison is three times more guarded than usual. He has escaped one too many times."

"Great. It's heavily guarded." He thought to himself. "There has got to be an easier way than this."

* * *

Two figures dashed across the top of the fort. 

"There has got to be an easier way than this!" exclaimed Will.

"Shh! You said you wanted to stick with my plan, and here it is!" Jack-as-Elizabeth said.

"Well that's before I knew about all the guards." mumbled Will.

"Wait! Here comes another guard." Jack whispered. "Get ready…."

Will dashed out of the shadows and bopped the guard on the head with is pistol. The guard slumped to the ground.

"He didn't see it coming." Will said.

"Come on! This way!" hissed Jack. The two took off again.

* * *

Scarlet found a young officer to flirt with. 

"May I have this dance?' he asked her. She giggled and took his hand. The two began to dance across the floor."

"What is your name?" he asked.

"Scarlet." She giggled. "What's yours?"

"Peter." He replied. He twirled her around "I overheard you speaking to the governor. You're married?"

"No. That is my brother, the Lord Dutchman. He always says I'm his wife when we go to balls. He just wants to protect me." Scarlet replied. Peter smiled.

* * *

"I'm getting tired." Will painted, after knocking out another guard.

"Well get ready! A guard just went around the corner and he'll be back." Jack hissed.

"Are you sure there's not an easier way?" Will asked.

"Positive!" Jack said.

"OH!" someone screamed.

* * *

The governor and the lord turned around. Scarlet had fainted in Peter's arms. 

"Scarlet!" the lord ran towards her and kneeled next to her. Scarlet eyes flung open.

"I want to go home." She whispered. The lord helped her up.

"I'll get you a carriage at once!" the governor said.

"Are you alright?" Peter asked.

"Yes….I just felt very faint." Scarlet replied fanning herself. The Lord Dutchman hugged her.

"Got 'um." She whispered.

* * *

**So who are these two???? Do you think that's stupid??? Adding two characters??? Please review! I want to know what all of you think of this chapter!**


	6. They're Off!

"Got 'um." whispered Scarlet. Her brother smiled. The governor grabbed him by the arm.

"This way." The two followed him outside to the awaiting carriage. He opened the door.

"Thank you so much for your kindness." Scarlet whimpered. The governor smiled.

"Just go home and rest, dear." He replied. Scarlet and her brother hopped inside the carriage.

"Good night, you two." He said with a smile right before he closed the door. The carriage took off down the driveway. Scarlet sighed.

"Glad that's over!" she ripped off the hat that had been hiding her dark red hair. She pulled out a set of keys and dangled them in front of her brother's face. He smiled.

"You little sneak!" he laughed. "How did you ever get those off him without him noticing?" Scarlet just smiled. "Now how do we get in?"

Her brother pulled off his jacket, revealing another one underneath.

"Simple. I wear the officer's uniform, I pretend like I'm bringing you to jail, we free Jack." he answered.

"Good." Scarlet ripped her dress off to reveal her shirt and her pants underneath.

"I couldn't stand that dress much longer."

"Now to knock out the driver…." Her brother said.

"Leave it to me, Vincent. I know what to do." Scarlet said with a smile.

* * *

Will was breathing heavily. Why did he always go along with Jack's plans? They were insane, yet somehow they worked. Jack-as-Elizabeth stood next to him, breathing heavily too.

"Next time, I plan the escape plan." Will mumbled. A door stood before them. Will turned to Jack. "Is this the right one?"

"Of course it's the right one! I've been here more than you. Now step, aside William, I want my body back." Jack opened the door and headed inside. Will followed.

"Nobody's here, Jack." Will said starting to get a little annoyed. Jack smiled.

"That's the point. It's a shortcut. Now come on!"

* * *

Vincent stopped the carriage. Scarlet dragged the driver inside the carriage and shut the door. They were in front of the fort.

"Come on!" hissed Vincent. The two dashed around the side of the fort.

"There's an old cell where the bars are lose on the window. We pull them off and head inside. It's the third one down." Vincent and Scarlet quietly walked along the side of fort. They came to the window. Vincent pulled down the bars.

"Go." He told Scarlet. Scarlet grabbed the frame and pulled herself up and climbed through. Vincent followed. The cell was empty and the door was wide open. The two stepped out into the corridor. They started walking again.

"It's down here. That's what that officer said." Scarlet replied. Finally they came to the cell. Jack Sparrow was inside. Scarlet took the keys out and opened the door.

"You're not Will or Jack." Jack said to them. Vincent and Scarlet looked at each other.

"No but we're here to rescue you." Scarlet said.

"Why?" Jack asked. "What are you two up to?" Scarlet and Vincent exchange glances.

"That's not important right now, but we've got to get you out of here." Vincent said.

"Who goes there?" yelled a voice.

"Come on!" Vincent grabbed Jack by the arm and the three ran off.

* * *

Will and Jack came down the corridor just in time to see the three run off.

"Great idea with the yelling, who goes there!" Jack mumbled. "That really worked."

"We can't let Elizabeth go….again!" exclaimed Will. "Come on!" Will and Jack took off running after them.

"I wonder who those two were…." Jack said as they ran.

"Well whoever they are, they took off with Elizabeth!" Will replied.

"How come we always have to save her?" Jack asked. The two came to the end of the corridor…it was a dead end.

"Great! We lost her again!" mumbled Jack.

"You know I'm starting to get use to this body…." Jack said. Will rolled his eyes.

"Now what?" Will asked.

"Head towards the harbor. They need a ship to get out of here." Jack suggested.

"You're right, but if they're not there…we'll never find Elizabeth." Will mumbled.

* * *

Scarlet, Vincent, and Jack ran towards the dock.

"That was close!" sighed Scarlet.

"You can let go of my arm now!" Jack said. "And who are you two?"

"That's not important! We have to get out of Port Royal, though." Vincent said.

"Well, whoever you are? Where are you taking me?" Jack asked.

"Our uncle." Replied Scarlet.

* * *

"Uncle?" thought Elizabeth. "Oh Jack! What have you gotten me into??"

* * *

**OOOOO! Who are they??? Who's their uncle??? Will Jack and Will ever find Elizabeth?? So many questions…so little answers. Yeah, it's getting a little serious this story, but it all can't be funny. So do you like it or is it a sorry excuse of a story?? I won't know unless you review….so please review this chapter!!! Thanks! The 6****th**** chapter will be up soon!**


	7. The Man at the Dock

Will and Jack-as-Elizabeth were hiding behind a pile of barrels waiting for Elizabeth-as-Jack's kidnappers.

"How long have we been waiting?" Jack-as-Elizabeth whispered.

"About 10 minutes." Will answered.

"Maybe they weren't heading for the docks after all." Jack said.

"Of course they were heading for the docks!" Will said. "I heard them say so!"

"You could have heard wrong." huffed Jack.

"Well I didn't! Now be quiet!" snapped Will.

* * *

Elizabeth-as-Jack followed her kidnappers. They were heading in the direction of the docks. Suddenly, they stopped.

"Why should we head to the dockss?" asked the girl. "That's where they'll be expecting us to go."

"You're right." the boy said. "We shouldn't go there just yet."

"Then where do we go?" the girl asked.

"There's a inn in the center of town. We coukd stay there for the night and head out in the morning." the boy said.

"But Uncle will be worried!" the girl exclaimed. "And we can't let Sparrow escape!"

"But Uncle also said not to get caught! And don't worry! I have an idea..."

* * *

"Now how long has it been?" Jack-as-Elizabeth asked.

"3 hours." Will said.

"It doesn't take this long for someone to get from the fort to the docks." Jack said.

"You're right." Will said. "Maybe I did hear wrong."

Suddenly, they heard footsteps.

"Here they come..." hissed Will. "Get ready...NOW!" The two jumped out and grabbed the person walking by.

"Got you!" Jack exclaimed.

"Get off of me!" exclaimed the person.

"Where's Elizabeth...I mean Jack???!?!" Will demanded to know.

"Jack Sparrow?" the man repeated. "He's in jail! My men finally caught the man who ruined my life!"

"James??" asked Jack.

"Elizabeth?" James asked.

"We caught James Norrington?!?!" exclaimed Will. He let go of him.

"William? What are you two doing back in Port Royal?" James asked. "And why on earth did you attack me?"

"Uhhhhh...you see somebody broke Jack out of jail, right before we were going to and now we can't find them or Jack." Jack explained.

"So the man who ruined my life escaped?!?!" James exclaimed. He pointed at Will. "Everytine you're around he escapes! This is all you're fault!"

"My fault?!?! I didn't do anything!" Will agured.

"Elizabeth..." James said as he pulled who he thought was Elizabeth towards him. "Don't love this man...love me!" Then James grabbed Jack-as-Elizabeth and started kissing her!  
"YOU CREEP!" Jack-as-Elizabeth exclaimed, as he jumped back. "HOW DARE YOU!" Jack took off one of Elizabeth's shoes and started beating James with it.

"DIE!" screamed Jack!

"Owwww! Owww! Owww! Stop it! Oww! I'm sorry!" James was yelling.

"GRRR! I'M MARRIED YOU CREEP!" Jack was yelling!

"Hey! Stop it!" Will grabbed Jac-as-Elizabeth off of James.

"Uhhh...James...there's something I need to tell you..." Will started to say. "That's not Elizabeth."

James was rubbing his head. "Of course it's Elizabeth!"

"No,, that's Jack in Elizabeth's body. Elizabeth and Jack switched bodies."

"Well then if you're Jack...say something...err...Jackish." James said.

"Elizabeth is a murderess, Will's a eunic, and you're just a person who's always chasing me and works too much, and Elizabeth will never love you beacuse she loves Will...not you because you're too serious and stuck up...and..."

"That's good!" James interupted. "You're Jack. So if you're Jack in Elizabeth's body, I was kissing Jack?!?!?!"

"Don't worry, I did the same thing." Will said.

"Why do you always have to ruin my life??!" James exclaimed.

Jack shrugged. "Because I enjoy watching you suffer."

"Now we have to find Elizabeth." Will said.

"There's an inn in the center of town where shaddy people like that go. I say we try there." James said.

"Then let's go!" said Jack. "I want my body back!" So the three dashed off into the night towards the inn.


	8. Assassin

Juana dashed across the roof top. She was in perfect view of anyone who stepped out of the inn...it was a perfect shot. She had to do this right...or she wouldn't get her money. And she needed that money! She was hidden in the shadows, but it didn't matter. Anyone who came out of that inn would be too drunk to notice her...not before it was too late. She sighed. It was dangerous business to strike a deal with Cutler Beckett, but sometimes you must take your chances. Suddenly 3 hooded figures amerged from the shadows. Well this was interesting...she thought.

"Why me?" asked one...a girl.

"You want your body back? Then you have to." said another.

"But clearly if these people kidnapped me in the first place...then my life is at stake!" she complained.

"So you're just going to let them kill Elizabeth...who they think is you...while you stay married to me?" asked the 3rd person.

"I'd rather be married to you then end up dead...somewhere..." She huffed.

"Well...if you put it that way...I always wanted to have kids..."

"Err...never mind...William. Let's go in and save your little wrench and get my body back!" said the girl, quickly.

The 2nd man chuckled. "I'd like to know what those children would look like..." The girl slapped him.

"I may get use to this body after all!" she giggled.

"Come on!" the 3rd man pushed her inside, while the 2nd man held his face.

"That bloody Jack Sparrow!" she heard him mumbled.

_Jack Sparrow..._

She shook her head. Strange drunks at this hour...like always.

She sighed. The name echoed in her ears. It was a name too familiar. She cursed silently...maybe she shouldn't have took the deal.

...but if this worked out...the only time she'd hear Jack Sparrow's name again was when the shout went out that he was dead!

* * *

Elizabeth-as-Jack, unaware of the danger ahead...pushed the rum bottle back and forth across the table. She sighed. Her husband was off somewhere with her body...while she was stuck her with these kidnappers...stuck in another body.

* * *

Scarlett knew Jack Sparrow...and this wasn't him. He seemed different.

"Are you sure we grabbed the right person?" she whispered to Vincent. He took a sip of his rum and laughed.

"Of course we did!" he exclaimed.

Suddenly...a hooded woman stood over their table. Two men stood behind her.

"May I help you?" Vincent asked. The laughter gone.

"Yes...actually...you can." Her voice was a perfect English accent. She pulled back her hood. "My name is Elizabeth Turner." She pointed to the men. "That is my husband, William...and my brother James Swann."

Scarlett glanced at Jack. Was that a smile on his lips??

"Your uncle sent us here to help you." she told them.

"Aren't you a friend of Sparrow's?" Scarlett asked, not trusting this Elizabeth Turner.

She gave a small laugh. "Sparrow?? He is nothing to me! A spot on my life that I would like to see...taken care of..."

"I ruined her life!" Jack mumbled, almosr smiling. Elizabeth shot him a look.

"Our uncle sent you?" Vincent asked. She nodded.

"He was afraid that you might not get the job done...alone."

Vincent smiled. "Sounds like uncle..." He thought for a moment. "Well...Mrs. Turner we're glad to have you aboard!"

"How can you trust them?!!?!" Scarlett hissed in his ear.

"Don't worry...they'll be dead by morning." Vincent replied.

* * *

"How did you know it was an uncle?" Will whispered to Jack-as-Elizabeth. He rolled his eyes.

"It's ALWAYS an evil uncle and these two look very familiar...I can't put my finger on it...but I feel as I have meet them before..."

* * *

"Jack Sparrow...you'll be dead by morning!" Juana smiled to herself as she prepared herself for when the imfamous pirate walked out of the inn...breathing his last breath on this earth...

* * *

**muhahahahahahahahahahaha interesting...isn't it?? Hoped you guys enjoyed it! **

**Will you ever find out who Vincent and Scarlett are??? And who's Juana??? Don't worry...all questions will be answered soon...**


	9. Juana

Juana waited. It shouldn't be long.

Suddenly, the door to the inn burst open and a girl and a boy made their way out slowly. Behind them was two hooded figures and a girl. She turned around and said something to someone behind her. Juana strained to see who it was and then Jack Sparrow stepped out into the moonlight. She smiled and pulled the trigger.

"Elizabeth...tell me everything about these...er...them." Jack-as-Elizabeth whispered on the way out of the inn.

"All I know is as much as you know." Elizabeth-as-Jack replied. "There names are Vincent and Scarlett and they're working for their uncle."

Jack-as-Elizabeth stopped in the doorway. "Scarlett...Vincent..." He pondered this for a few seconds, then a worried look crossed his face. He grabbed Elizabeth-as-Jack's arm. "Elizabeth! They're dangerous! They work for..."

Vincent was now next to them. "What's the hold up back here?" he asked.

"Nothing!" Jack-as-Elizabeth huffed. He brushed by him and out the door. Vincent gave Elizabeth-as-Jack a strange expression, then followed Jack-as-Elizabeth into the night.

Elizabeth-as-Jack sighed, then followed them out of the inn. Suddenly, a shot rang out.

Juana never had missed a mark before. Never. And this time, it was no different. She jumped up and slid down the side of the building swiftly and silently. She peeked her head around the corner to see her handywork.

"Bloody hell!" a girl exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

The group helped a man up.

"Yes, I'm fine." He said, holding his head. He looked down at the ground. He helped the other figure up. Juana cursed lightly. Jack Sparrow was still alive. That man had saved him. Juana pulled up her pantleg, revealing a small hand pistol wrapped around her leg. She ripped it off. She was going to finish this...

* * *

Elizabeth-as-Jack pulled herself up off the ground with Will's help. She was shaking and she couldn't help it. Someone had just tried to kill her...or rather Jack as it was, but Jack wasn't at home in his body right now.

The bullet had just skimmed Will's head. Jack-as-Elizabeth was staring at her wide eyed.

"Juana...!" he hissed.

Scarlett and Vincent glanced at him.

"Juana?" Scarlett asked.

"Juana?" Elizabeth-as-Jack repeated.

"You don't mean the deadly pirate asassin, do you?" James asked.

"One of the same." Jack-as-Elizabeth replied. "And she's after me...er..."lizabeth...Jack."

"Why on earth would ANYONE else be after me?" Elizabeth-as-Jack asked him.

Jack-as-Elizabeth gave a short laugh. "That's hilarious! Why would Juana be after you?? Ha! I'm glad I'm not you because..."

"I believe I can answer that question." Juana stepped out of the darkness pistol drawn and pointed as Elizabeth-as-Jack.

"You stole my map to the Isle de Murta, which my great grandfather had passed down to me, which I was to keep safe and do what I pleased with the treasure. But...YOU...you tricked me...you stole it from me...and for that you must pay." Juana started to pull back on the trigger.

"You have got to be bloody kidding me." Elizabeth-as-Jack mumbled in disbelief.

Vincent drew his own pistol and pointed it at Juana.

"You shoot Sparrow, I might just have to kill you." Vincent hissed.

"I wouldn't be doing that if I were you!" Jack-as-Elizabeth exclaimed. The group turned and looked at him.

"Er...what I mean is...Juana is the best shot in the Caribbean, never missed a shot until 30 seconds ago." Jack-as-Elizabeth explained.

"If it wasn't for HIM there...I would have had 'im." She said nodding towards Will.

"Thank ye, William for saving me body." Jack-as-Elizabeth mumbled.

"ENOUGH!" Juana shouted. She pulled back on the trigger.

"Oh dear god no." Elizabeth-as-Jack whispered.

* * *

_CLICK_

* * *

The gun didn't go off.

"Bloody hell no." Juana exclaimed.

"Well this is a shocking turn of events...the asassin has no bullets." James mumbled. Will glared at him.

"That seems to be happening a lot lately, hasn't it?" Will replied. James shrugged.

Juana drew her sword. "This isn't over, not yet."

"She needs to let go, doesn't she?" Jack-as-Elizabeth said Scarlett.

Vincent, Will, and James drew their swords.

"It seems that we have the advantage...3 against 1." Vincent smiled.

"Did I mention that Juana is also the best sword fighter in the Caribbean?" James told the group.

"I thought Will was." Elizabeth-as-Jack stated.

"Er...no she could probably beat William with one hand behind her back." James replied.

"Can we please just get back to this?" Will asked.

"Yes, please." Juana said.

"Well...I'm off!" Jack-as-Elizabeth started to tip-toe away from the group.

"Where are you going?" Scarlett called after him.

"To hide before she catches me!" Jack-as-Elizabeth called back.

"What are you talking 'bout? She's not after you!"

Jack-as-Elizabeth stopped dead in his tracks, turned around, and smiled.

"You're right, love! I'm perfectly safe...right here!" Jack-as-Elizabeth said as he did a small spin. He stopped.

"But me body isn't!" He raced towards Elizabeth-as-Jack, who was still standing up against the inn watching Juana and the men fight it out.

Jack-as-Elizabeth grabbed her and started racing down the alley.

"Come on!" He exclaimed.

"But what about Will? I can't leave without him!" Elizabeth-as-Jack exclaimed.

"Yes, but I'm not about to let a bullet or a sword or something kill me!" Jack-as-Elizabeth hissed.

"Even when you're not you...all you can still think about is you...you...you!" Elizabeth-as-Jack.

Suddenly, Scarlett stepped out of the darkness and knocked out Jack-as-Elizabeth with a rum bottle. He fell to the ground with a thud. She drew a pistol and pointed it to Elizabeth-as-Jack's head. She gave an evil smile.

"Don't even think of pulling anything!" She hissed.

Elizabeth-as-Jack gave a small smile. "I wasn't planning to!"

"For too long I've been living in Vincent's shadow, never getting the respect from Uncle I wanted. But this time, it's going to be my turn."

"This is madness!" Elizabeth-as-Jack exclaimed as Scarlett pushed her down the alleyway. Scarlett grabbed her arm.

"Believe me...it's not...now walk!"


	10. Meet The Uncle

The fight was over in a matter of minutes. Juana easily beat Will, James, and Vincent...like James had said.

Now, Juana had all three men pressed against the wall at gunpoint.

"Any last words?" she asked.

"Parley?" James tried with a sideways smille. Will glared at him. James shrugged.

"It was worth a shot!" he mumbled.

Suddenly, Juana crumbled to the ground with a thud. Elizabeth was standing behind her, rum bottle in hand.

"Why do we always knock people out with rum bottles?" James asked.

"Awwww! Will!" Elizabeth jumped into Will's arms. Will stepped back a little and pulled her off of him.

"Errr..._Elizabeth..._are you feeling okay?" he asked.

Elizabeth gave him a sideways stare.

"Well of course I'm bloody fine!" she exclaimed. She glanced over at James. "What's _HE_ doing here?? And who's he?" she pointed a finger at Vincent.

James and Will gave each other a worried glance, not knowing where this was going.

"That's Vincent...we're helping him..._remember?_" He asked.

"Noooo..." Elizabeth stated.

"Where's Scarlett? Where's Jack?" Vincent asked her.

"Jack...Jack Sparrow? I haven't seen him in months! And who's Scarlett?"

"_Elizabeth..._" Will said, grabbing her by the wrist and pulled her away from the rest of the group. "Jack..." he whispered. "What are you doing?"

"Jack?" Elizabeth said loudly. "Why on earth would you call me Jack?"

"Shhh!" Will put a finger to her lips. "You and Elizabeth switched bodies..."

"William..." Elizabeth said with a smile. "We haven't seen Jack in months! And how on earth could we have switched bodies?"

"Oh boy!" Will mumbled. "This can't be good." He ran a finger across Elizabeth's forehead. There was a small cut running across it and it was bleeding a little.

"What happened?" he asked. Elizabeth rubbed her finger across it.

"Oh...I don't know...I woke up on the ground and..."

"You woke up on the ground?" Will interupted.

"Yes...and I heard a voice scream Jack and there was a broken bottle laying next to me." Elizabeth explained.

"You were hit on the head...with a bottle?" Will asked.

"I actually don't remember that part...but yes probably..."

"Oh no!" Will mumbled. "Jack thinks he's really Elizabeth."

* * *

Scarlett ripped the blindfold off of Elizabeth-as-Jack. They were standing on a porch of a run down shack. Scarlett knocked on the door. The door swang open revealing a big, tall man holding a candle.

"Where's Vincent?" he asked.

"He fell behind, Sol." Scarlett said, pushing Elizabeth-as-Jack forward. "But I brought the prize!"

Sol laughed. "Excellent! Your uncle's been waiting!"

He grabbed Elizabeth-as-Jack by the arm and dragged her into the house.

"Watch it!" she yelled. But Sol just laughed. They came to a room at the back of the house. The door was closed. Sol knocked and a voice called out from inside. Sol opened the door. There was a fire burning in the fireplace. There were maps hung up across the room with pins stuck in certain places. The mantle was covered with all kinds of different colored bottles. Some even lay on the floor. There was also a desk in the the middle of the room with a chair. The chair was turned to the wall, so Elizabeth could not see who was sitting there.

"Leave Sparrow here. I would like a few words with him." the man called out.

"But..." Scarlett started to protest.

"Scarlett!" The man snapped.

Scarlett mumbled something under her breath and and followed Sol out of the room. The door slammed shut.

Elizabeth gulped. She was alone with the mysterious uncle.

"Finally..." The chair spun around.

Elizabeth gasped. "It's...you...!"

* * *

"Of course!" Lord Cutler Beckett gave an evil smile.

"I should have known..." Elizabeth mumbled.

"Now, tell me Mrs. Turner...what do you think of my niece and nephew?" Beckett asked.

"What do you mean Mrs. Turner?" Elizabeth-as-Jack huffed.

"Oh, dont play stupid with me, Elizabeth! I know about you and Jack switching bodies...actually I made it happen!"

"What?" Elizabeth exclaimed, thinking she hadn't heard him right.

"Yes...it wasn't hard to get Jack stupid drunk and mix his rum with this..." He held up a small bottle for Elizabeth to see.

"This makes the drinker switch bodies with the one person he or she does not understand." Beckett explained. "Wouldn't that be you and Jack?"

"Okay, so you've had your fun! Now switch us back!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"Oh...it's not that easy..." Beckett said. "This is a way for me to destroy the two people who ruinned everything I created. You see, if I kill you...I kill Jack too. Both your fates are tied to the other. So if something ever happened to you..."

"What about Will?" Elizabeth asked. "He freed Jack right as he was suppose to be hung!"

"Oh don't worry...I've left Will's fate up to Vincent..."

"YOU!" Elizabeth rushed at him. Beckett pulled out a small gun.

"I don't think you would want to do anything of the sort!"

Elizabeth froze.

"But you know..." Beckett said as he fingered his gun. "Will is such a talented young man...so just in case Vincent fails...I always have Juana!"

Elizabeth eyes widened. "But she was after Jack..."

"And I knew Will would protect you...whatever the cost..."

Elizabeth crumbled to the floor. Beckett made his way towards the door.

"I think I'll leave you here to think about all that! It's a lot to take in." Beckett gave a small laugh as he slammed the door behind him. Elizabeth heard it lock behind him...


	11. Familiar Faces and Fire!

"My feet hurt!" Elizabeth complained as the group ran through the town.

"Too bad!" snapped Will. "We've got to catch up!" Will had no idea what this so called _uncle_ had planned for the real Elizabeth who was trapped in Jack's body, not Jack who thought he was really Elizabeth...

Elizabeth stopped completely. "I'm not going anywhere until I rest!"

"He's a little high strung...isn't he?" James chuckled to himself.

"Listen!" Vincent exclaimed, his face two inches away from Elizabeth's. "My Uncle probably has Jack Sparrow right now and Scarlett's getting all the praise and money and all his respect! And now you want to stop and rest??"

Elizabeth started crying and ran into Will's arms.

"Tell him to stop yelling at me!" she wailed.

Suddenly, a shot rang out and a familiar laugh echoed through the streets. Across the street a door burst open and a tall man stood in the doorway.

"That will teach ya!" the man yelled as he walked out into the night. He stopped to survey the group.

"Ahhh...Mr. Turner...and Mrs. Turner...and Mr. James Norrington..what brings you to my side of town?"

"Barbossa..." Vincent hissed under his breath.

Barbossa stared at Vincent. "Tell me, what is a fine group like you running around with the likes of him?!"

"We're helping him." Will explained.

Barbossa laughed. "Don't ya know who he is?"

Will and James looked at each other, then looked at Vincent.

"He's Beckett's nephew." Barbossa said with an evil smile.

"Beckett?" Will repeated.

"No wonder he looked so familiar..." James said.

Will turned and grabbed Vincent, pushing him against the wall.

"You forgot to mention that you worked for Beckett!" Will exclaimed angerly.

"Did I?" Vincent smiled sheepishly."My mistake."

"Beckett conned him and Scarlett into working for him...capturing and killing pirates!" Barbossa spat.

"So once we helped him, he would have killed us all." James said. "Well...not me...because I'm not a pirate!"

"Well, I guess we won't be making that mistake again..." Will drew his sword and prepared to kill Vincent.

"Wait!" Vincent exclaimed. "You can't kill me! You need me to find my Uncle and Sparrow!"

"Jack?" Barbossa asked. "How did he get dragged into all of this?"

"It's a long story..." James mumbled. "One involving kissing..."

Barbossa didn't reply to James' comment.

Will still had his sword ready. He glanced over at Barbossa. Barbossa gave a slight nod. Will put away his sword. Vincent gave a sigh of relief.

"Barbossa, do care to join us?" Will asked.

"If it has something to do with Beckett, then aye!" He turned back to James. "Watch this snake!" Barbossa pointed to Vincent.

"Who died and made you group leader?" James mumbled, but obeyed Barbossa.

"Are your feet better _now, _Elizabeth?" Will asked.

"Yes." She told him, as she hopped off the barrel she was sitting on.

"Come on!" Will exclaimed as he grabbed her by the wrist and followed the group into the woods.

888

Elizabeth-as-Jack paced her prison, thinking.

"What would Jack do?" she thought. "Here I am, trapped in a room with no windows and one door as my way out!"

Suddenly...she had it. She ran over to the wall. She pulled the huge map off of it. Pins rolled across the floor. Elizabeth-as-Jack hurried over to the fireplace. She glanced up at all the bottles.

"There must be one for switching back!" she exclaimed. She picked them up one by one, reading the labels that marked each one. She couldn't find it. She made her way back across the room to Beckett's desk. She opened all the drawers, searching. Finally, she found it.

_"Cure For Body Switch" _: it read.

Elizabeth-as-Jack slid the bottle into her pocket, smiling to herself. She made her way back towards the fireplace. She took the large map and rolled it up tghtly. Then, she held one end and stuck the other end into the fire.

The map burned more quickly then she though it would.

"Oh bugger!" She mumbled. She ran towards the door and dropped it down in front of it.

Then Elizabeth realized that wasn't that great of a plan...everything else around the door started to burn.

"Bloody hell! I'm going to die!" she exclaimed.

Then...the door caught on fire! The fire began to travel uo the door, burning a hole in the middle. Smoke was beginning to fill up the room. Elizabeth was praying that it would hurry. Suddenly, the door broke apart. She was free! Elizabeth jumped through what was left of the burning door, rolling down the hallway. She stood up quickly. There was Beckett, Scarlett, and Sol. She pushed past the group and headed for the door.

"After him!" Beckett yelled.

Elizabeth-as-Jack ran into the night, not looking back at the house that was starting to burn to the ground.

888

Will, Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth, James, Vincent, and Barbossa hurried through the jungle. They had seen the fire and could smell the smoke. They had to hurry...anything could have happened to Elizabeth by now!

"What happens if we get there and there's no more Jack?" James asked.

"There's going to be no more you, if you keep making those kind of comments..." Will snapped.

James shut up.

Finally, they made it.

And what they saw, shocked them all...

...Actually, it was what they didn't see!

There was nothing left of the house. Only a big pile of burned wood and ash.

"We're too late!" Barbossa mumbled.

"Jack!" Will yelled as he started to dig through the heap.

"Face it!" James called. "There's nothing left!"

But Will kept searching. "Elizabeth!" he mumbled.

"Look!" Vincent yelled. Will turned around. Jack-who-thought-he-was-Elizabeth fell to the ground with a sickening thud. Will ran towards him.

"Oh no!" he thought. He kneeled next to him, rolling him over.

His eyes were closed.

"Elizabeth?" Will asked.

His eyes shot open. "Oh! Good! You're here! I was starting to get annoyed that you weren't paying attention to me!"

Will groaned. "I thought something was wrong!"

He stood back up, looking around.

"William, there's nothing left!" Barbossa told him. "There's no hope!"

Will turned and looked at him. "Only a fool's hope!" And Will darted into the jungle, leaving the group behind!

* * *

_T_


	12. Elizabeth's Plan and Will's Capture

"Well this is just great! Will runs off into the dark leaving me with the likes of you pirates!" James mumbled.

"You better shut ye mouth before I cut out your tongue!" Barbossa yelled.

"I'll put you in jail for that!" James snapped back.

"Stop fighting!" Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-in-Elizabeth's- body exclaimed.

"I got it! Why don't I just throw you all in jail!" James said. "Take that!"

Barbossa just rolled his eyes.

"Well I just want to find Will and if we don't soon, I'll..." Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-in-Elizabeth's- body fell to the ground with a thud. The group spun around. There was two people now on the ground. Barbossa and James drew their swords.

"Who are ya? Show yourself!" Barbossa yelled.

"Oww! Barbossa?" the figure stood up.

"Jack!" Barbossa, Vincent, and Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-in-Elizabeth's- body exclaimed at the same time.

"Elizabeth!" James exclaimed. Everyone turned and looked at him. He shrugged.

"What's Barbossa doing here?" Elizabeth-as-Jack asked. "And where's Will?"

"Mr. Turner ran off looking fo you!" Barbossa exclaimed. "And I'm here to help."

"You'll never believe who's behind the switch...it's Beckett!" Elizabeth-as-Jack exclaimed.

"Yes, we know that." Barbossa said with an eye roll.

"What do you mean behind the switch?" James asked.

"Beckett got Jack drunk and made him drink this weird drink that makes you switch bodies with the person you don't understand! It's his plan for ultimate revenge!" Elizabeth-as-Jack explained.

"That makes sense." James said.

"What are ye two talking 'bout?" Barbossa asked.

"You didn't tell him?!" Elizabeth-as-Jack exclaimed. "Me and Jack switched bodies!"

Barbossa laughed. "So you're Elizabeth?"

"Yes!" Elizabeth-as-Jack exclaimed.

"But I'm Elizabeth!" Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-in-Elizabeth's- body yelled.

"And we have bigger problems than Beckett...Jack really think he's you!"

"Oh bugger!" Elizabeth-as-Jack mumbled. "But don't worry! I have the cure!" She reached into her pocket to pull out the bottle. "Oh no!"

"What?" James asked.

Elizabeth-as-Jack pulled out what was left of the bottle. Her hand was wet. "It broke!"

James groaned. "How could it have broke?"

"Probably when I crashed in Jack!" Elizabeth wailed. "We're doomed!

888

Beckett waited for Sol and Scarlett at the edge of the woods. They came crashing through the bush, dragging a struggling prisoner behind them.

"We didn't catch Jack, but we caught him instead!" Scarlett explained. They threw Will to the ground.

"Beckett!"Will hissed.

Sol drew a knife. "Should we get rid of the lil' whelp?" he asked. "We have no use for him."

"No...this actually work to our advantange. Mr. Turner would do anything to save Mrs. Turner...wouldn't he?"

Will didn't answer, but Beckett knew he was right. "And I know Elizabeth would do anything to get Mr. Turner back." Beckett rubbed his chin, thinking. "Knock him out!"

Sol hit Will in the beack of the head. Will fell to the ground with a thud.

"Our location isn't safe anymore." Scarlett said.

"Yes, I know. We'll have to move." Beckett said.

"But where?" Scarlett asked.

"I have a few places in mind." Beckett told her. "Don't worry." He turned to Sol. "Drag the whelp to the boat, we're setting sail tonight."

"What about Sparrow?" Scarlett asked. "He's still out there."

"Now that we have Will, I could care less about Jack." Beckett snapped.

"And Vincent. Vincent's out there too!" Scarlett argued.

"Vincent will be fine." Beckett told her. Beckett turned and followed Sol down the hill. Scarlett hesitated, then followed her uncle.

888

Elizabeth-as-Jack had Vincent pushed up against a tree.

"Tell me!" she yelled.

"I don't know anything about a cure!" Vincent exclaimed.

"James, cut off his foot." Elizabeth-as-Jack told him.

"Certainly!" James drew his sword.

"No! No!" I'll tell you!" Vincent yelped.

Elizabeth-as-Jack smiled. "That's more I like it. Now do tell."

"Here's what I know...that the cure only has two ingredients. They are rum and the tentacleof an octopus!" Vincent explained.

"That's pretty easy, I guess." James said.

"Unless you know where to find an octopus tentacle." Vincent added.

"They are pretty hard to come by." Barbossa said.

"Well...I do know of one octopus..." Elizabeth-as-Jack smiled.

Barbossa stared at her. "You don't mean..."

"Oh, yes. I mean Davvy Jones!" Elizabeth-as-Jack said. "We're going to need one of his octopus tentacles!"

"Just when you thought it couldn't get any madder..." James mumbled.

"You're not serious, are ya?" Barbossa asked.

"Oh. I am. And one of us has to climb aboard the _Flying Dutchman _and get it." Elizabeth-as-Jack explained.

"But who?" James said. They all turned and looked at him.

"You don't mean me, do you?" James asked Elizabeth-as-Jack. She nodded.

"What happens if he kills me? I won't be much help if I'm dead!" James told her.

"Oh. Don't worry. I have a plan! You might want to sit down..."

"Oh, come on...how crazy can it possibly be?" James grinned.

888

_There's the next chapter! Anyways... if ya want to read something else while you wait for another exciting chapter, please check out my one-shots: Forever and A Day, One Step. Two Step., and Lost! Lost! and One Step. Two Step. kinda go together! _

_Thanks!_


	13. Cursed!

"This is complete and utter madness!" James mumbled.

"Pirate!" Elizabeth-as-Jack reminded him.

"Pirate..." James imitated. The two were in a longboat, rowing slowly to a familiar island.

"This is going to be quite interesting." James told her. "Last time I was here..."

"Last time I was here...I almost bled to death!" Elizabeth-as-Jack interrupted.

Fog surrounded the Isla de Muerta. Elizabeth-as-Jack shivered. The island brought back too many memories for her, but it had to be done. Barbossa refused to ever step foot on the cursed island ever again, and everyone agreed that Jack-who-thought-he-was-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body could not go with James to get the cursed Aztec treasure, so it was up to Elizabeth.

"Why is it so bloody foggy?" James complained. "You can't see a thing!"

James was right. It was foggy than Elizabeth remembered and it was hard to row a longboat when you couldn't see.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." James mumbled. "Why can't I just have a normal career?"

"As long as there's Jack Sparrow, you'll never have a normal career!" Elizabeth smiled.

James rolled his eyes. "Why do you have to remind me?"

The longboat hit something hard and stopped. James looked over the side.

"It's the beach." He hopped out and pulled it farther up on the shore. Elizabeth grabbed the small lantern sitting next to her. James helped her out.

"Now, let's find that treasure!" James said. The two made their way into the cave. James gasped at the sight before them. He had never seen so much treasure!

"I'm rich!" He ran towards a pile of gold, then stopped. "I mean rich-er!" He started piling gold into his arms. Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

"That's not why we're here!" Elizabeth dragged James away from the pile of gold, up to chest where the cursed gold lay. She pushed the lid off. The gold coins with the evil looking skull staring up at her. She shivered again. She looked down at her hand, looking for the outline of the scar, but then realized it wasn't her hand she was looking at…it was Jack's. James looked down at the coins.

"Now what am I suppose to do again?" he asked.

"Just pick up one of those coins and you'll be cursed." Elizabeth explained.

"What if there's a catch?" he asked.

"There is no catch! It's a bloody cursed coin!" Elizabeth yelled.

James started to reach inside for a coin, but hesitated.

"I don't know..." he told Elizabeth.

"Oh! Just take one!" she told him. James reached inside and pulled out an Aztec coin.

"That was it?" he asked.

"I think so..." Elizabeth said.

"I don't feel any different." James said, looking down at himself. "Do I look any different to you?"

"No." Elizabeth said.

"Maybe it didn't work." James suggested. "Or maybe you have to be a certain height or something. Why did I have to be so bloody short?!"

Elizabeth pulled out her gun and fired straight at James. James made a choking sound and stared at her wide eyed.

"Why the bloody did you do that?" he gasped. James fell backwards down the pile of gold, into the water. He was completley still, his eyes closed. Elizabeth screamed.

"Oh bugger!" she rushed to his side. "I killed him! It didn't work! I shot him and killed him!" She started shaking James. "Wake up! Don't die!"

One of James' eyes opened. He grinned. "Just kidding!"

Elizabeth dropped him, then slapped him.

"Oww!" James exclaimed.

"You're terrible!" Elizabeth mumbled. "I thought you were really dead!"

"But you shot me!" James exclaimed.

"Yes, but you didn't die." Elizabeth stated.

James shrugged. "True." He gave her another smile. "Would you have missed me if I died?"

"Hmmmm...no." Elizabeth replied.

"NO?!" James exclaimed.

"No, when I shot you, I was hoping the curse didn't work so you would have died." Elizabeth replied.

"Aww, Elizabeth...don't be like that." James smiled, batting his eye lashes at her.

"Are you flirting with me?" Elizabeth asked. "Or are you flirting with Jack?"

James stopped and glarred at her. She smiled.

"Just a question...I mean I'm still Jack."

"I'm still Jack..." James imitated.

"Shut up!" Elizabeth mumbled. "Now let's head back to the _Black Pearl._"

888

Barbossa greeted them when they returned.

"Did ya get what you went in for?" Babossa asked. "Never mind, I'll answer that for me-self!" He pulled out a gun and shot James.

"Hey! Hey!" James yelled. "Watch it! Just because I'm undead, doesn't mean you can just shoot at me!"

Barbossa smiled and put his gun away. "There."

"Now we have to find the _Dutchman._" Elizabeth explained. "So we can make that cure!"

"And don't forget about Will!" Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body added. They all stared at each other wide eyed.

"Will!" Elizabeth-as-Jack exclaimed. "We forgot all about him!"

"I'm sure Will's fine." James assured her. "He's Will."

"I sure hope so..." Elizabeth sighed. "But I think we should head back and look for him."

"Right after we dump him off at the _Flying Dutchman._" Barbossa said, pointing at James.

"How about we dump _you _off!" James yelled.

"I could kill ye right now!" Barbossa reached out to grab James.

"Haha! But I'm undead! You can't kill me!" James smiled.

"So was Bootstrap Bill Turner, and do you know what we did to him? We tied his bootstraps to a cannon and dropped him at the bottem of Davy Jones' Locker! He couldn't die, but it would feel like he was drownig a hundred times over! I could easily do the same thing to you!" Barbossa smiled.

James gulped and hid behind Elizabeth-as-Jack. "No thanks."

"So how exactly do we find the _Dutchman?_" Elizabeth asked.

Barbossa smiled. "We need to find..._death!_"

"Sounds...errr...nice." James smiled nervously.

"So where do we find..._death?_" Elizabeth asked.

Barbossa shrugged. "Beats me."

Elizabeth sighed. It was always up to her to find these sorts of things.


	14. Finding Death

James, Elizabeth-as-Jack, and Barbossa were trying to figure out how to find _death._

"It's very simple!" Barbossa said. "We have to kill someone."

James and Elizabeth glanced at each other.

"You're not serious are you?" Elizabeth-as-Jack asked him.

"Quite, Mrs. Turner." Barbossa smiled.

"But we just can't go around killing people!" Elizabeth argued.

"Pirate..." Barbossa reminded her.

"Is being a pirate going to be your excuse for everything? Like say when you go to a party and you eat a lot of food and someone calls you a pig...do you say, "Oh well, I'm a pirate...I can't help it!"'

Elizabeth-as-Jack stared at him blankly. "That has nothing to do with this!"

"Yes it does!" James argued.

Barbossa rolled his eyes. "We can't find Jones without _death_."

"Yes, we already established that. And you said that we have to kill someone!" Elizabeth told him.

"It's true!" Barbossa stated.

"Who are we going to kill? James? No, he's undead! Vincent? No, we need him to find Beckett! Me? No, if I die...Jack dies!" Elizabeth snapped. "So the only person left is you!" She pointed a finger at Barbossa.

"I could arrange that!" James said drawing his sword.

"You can't kill me!" Barbossa yelled.

"And why not?! You want to kill some random person just so we can find Jones!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"But we do! We need _death_!" Barbossa yelled.

James snapped his fingers. "No need to kill anyone...I have an idea! We have to find_ death_ that's already _death_!"

Elizabeth-as-Jack and Barbossa stared at him.

"The Turkish Prison!" James exclaimed. "The one Jack escaped from!"

Barbossa smiled. "Aye! That place is filled with death! No one gets out alive!"

"Didn't you just here what I said? Jack escaped! And he's alive!" James pointed at Elizabeth-as-Jack.

"I'm not Jack." Elizabeth said.

James blushed. "Oops! Let me try again...Jack escaped and he's still alive!" He pointed at Jack-who-thought-he-was-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body who was sitting on a barrel brushing his hair. James sighed. "This is getting confusing!"

"Tell me about it!" Elizabeth mumbled. "We need to set sail for the Turkish Prison with all haste!"

_888_

The group arrived at the Turkish Prison very quickly. They didn't go close to it, but they got close enough to see it in the distance. Coffins floated in the water.

"I'm scared!" Jack-who-thought-he-was-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body shivered.

"It is pretty creepy!" Elizabeth-as-Jack observed. "It's very foggy!"

"Why are all the scary places foggy?" James asked.

"So now what?" Elizabeth asked Barbossa.

"We wait." Barbossa told her.

"I hate bloody waiting! Back home, I had people to wait for me!" James mumbled as he sat down on the deck of the ship.

"And you still can't figure out why I didn't marry you." Elizabeth mumbled under her breath. James shot her a look.

"And I still can't figure out why you married the whelp!" James shot back.

"Will is twice the man you'll ever be!" Elizabeth snapped. "Plus you were the one flirting with Jack!"

Barbossa gave James a strange expression but said nothing. James glared at Elizabeth, but shut up all the same.

The group waited for what seemed like hours, but there was still no Davy Jones.

"This is getting ridiculous!" Elizabeth complained.

"I know." James agreed.

Elizabeth then thought of something. She smiled to to herself as she stood up. She went over to the starboard side of the ship and looked over. She gasped.

"Look at that!" She exclaimed, pointing.

"What?" James now stood next to her, looking.

"That!" she exclaimed again.

"I don't see anything." James told her.

Elizabeth smiled. "Look closer. Lean your head over more."

James did. "Well, what is it? I still can't see..."

_SPLASH!_

James was now in the water. He cursed loudly. Barbossa rushed over.

"What's all this about?" he demanded to know.

"Well, I thought James would have a better chance of finding Davy Jones if he was among _death_! Jones will think he's dead, pick him up in his little ship, and then James can get that stupid octopus tentacle!" Elizabeth explained.

Barbossa rubbed his chin. "That could work."

James grabbed onto one of the coffins floating in the water. Elizabeth looked down at him and laughed.

"It's not funny!" he yelled back as he began to float away.

"Yes it is!" Elizabeth laughed. She turned back to Barbossa. "Now, we need to find Will."

"Of course! We're going to need him now that he's gone!" Barbossa said.

"Where do you think he could possibly be?" Elizabeth asked. "If he ran off looking for me, how come he didn't catch up with me? Unless...oh no! What happens if Beckett got to Will first?!"

"I'm sure young William's fine! He can handle Beckett..."

"Look at this!" Jack-who-thought-he-was-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body hurried towards them, waving a letter in his left hand. He handed it to Elizabeth-as-Jack. "It's for you."

"Where did you find that?" Barbossa asked.

"It was laying in one of the longboats, so I picked it up." Jack-who-thought-he-was-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body told Barbossa. Elizabeth quickly opened it.

"What does it say? Is it a love letter?" Jack-who-thought-he-was-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body asked.

"No, look." She held out the letter for them to see. There was only one sentence written on the paper.

_"You would do anything to get Will back, wouldn't you?"_

Barbossa and Elizabeth glanced at each other. There was a worried look across both their faces.

"Only one person could have written that...Beckett!" Elizabeth hissed.

"BECKETT HAS MY WILLIAM?!" Jack-who-thought-he-was-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body screamed.

"Shut it!" Barbossa snapped.

"It would seem that way." Elizabeth said calmly. "He's using him as leverage."

"Now, what exactly are we going to do?" Barbossa asked.

"Simple. We're going to do exactly what Beckett wants us to do...go after Will!" Elizabeth said as she ripped the paper to shreds and threw the remains off the side of the ship.


	15. A Little Bit Of Luck

Barbossa, Elizabeth-as-Jack, Vincent, and Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body made their way through the dark streets of Tortuga.

"I'm guessing Beckett will be in the place we least expect him to be." Elizabeth-as-Jack explained.

"But that makes it all too easy!" Barbossa told her.

"You'll never find my uncle!" Vincent hissed.

"Shut up!" Barbossa snapped.

"Make me!" Vincent yelled back.

"You won't be saying that when you're dead!" Barbossa yelled.

Vincent shut up quickly.

"I wanna find my William!" wailed Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body.

"You shut up too!" Barbossa yelled again. Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body burst into tears. Elizabeth-as-Jack glared at Barbossa.

"Don't snap at him like that! He's very sensitive!" Elizabeth-as-Jack told him.

The group came to the main square of Tortuga. All kinds of people were running about at this late hour.

"I'm worried about James." Elizabeth-as-Jack whispered to Barbossa.

"I'm sure young James will get what is needed." Barbossa reasured her.

"Well, I hope so." Elizabeth-as-Jack mumbled.

_888_

At that very same moment on the other side of the ocean, Davy Jones was looking for souls. His ship had come across a half sunken fishing boat that had crashed into the rocks. The crew members were almost dead when he found them.

"Four crew members still living." A crew member explained to Jones. "The rest have moved on."

Jones looked at the four men. He could smell their fear. He chuckled to himself as he lit his pipe. He glanced over at the fourth crew member. He was clearly not dying, but he could feel death upon him.

"You have death upon you, but you are clearly not dying!" Jones stated to the fourth man. He was looking down at his feet. "Why are you here?"

The man mumbled something that Jones could not here. Jones repeated his question. "Why are you here?"

_888_

_"Bloody hell!"_James thought. What was he going to tell Jones? He hadn't thought about that. He had come across the fishing boat embedded in the rocks. He had mistaken it for the _Flying Dutchman _and climbed aboard. Apparently, he was quite wrong. Jones was getting quite angry at him and James had no idea what to do.

"Lock this one in the brig until we get an answer from him!" Jones ordered. "Welcome to the _Flying Dutchman_!"

Two crew members grabbed James and dragged him below deck.

_888_

Barbossa, Elizabeth-as-Jack, Vincent, and Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body had been walking in circles around the pirate port. They had found no sign of Beckett or Will.

"We'll never find Will!" Elizabeth-as-Jack moaned. "He could be at the bottom of the ocean for all we know!"

Just then, by pure luck, a door opened. A man in a back hood stepped out into the night, holding a rum bottle.

"Do you know 'ho I am?" The man was yelling. He was clearly drunk. "I'm Lord 'eckett!"

Barbossa and Elizabeth-as-Jack gave each other a look. Elizabeth-as-Jack got ready to jump the drunk man, but Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body got to him first. Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body gave out a scream and tackled Beckett to the ground.

"WHERE'S WILL?!" Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body screamed. Beckett laughed.

"I don't know...'ol and 'carlet 'ook care of 'um!" he mumbled.

Elizabeth-as-Jack rushed over and pulled Beckett to his feet. She held her sword to his neck. "Where is that?"

Beckett laughed again. "He's not 'ead...not yet, if that's what you're asking."

Elizabeth-as-Jack pushed him over to Barbossa. Barbossa grabbed him by his shirt and smiled.

"We have ways of making you talk." He grinned. He pushed him over next to Vincent.

"Hello Uncle!" Vincent said cheerfully. Beckett mumbled something under his breath.

"Now what?" Elizabeth-as-Jack asked Barbossa. Barbossa turned to Beckett.

"Where is young Master Turner?" he asked. Beckett shrugged.

"I don't know." he slurred.

"Do you fancy your tounge?" Barbossa smiled.

"Fine...'ol and Scarlet were taking him to the Cannibal Island..." Beckett mumbled.

"He could be lying." Elizabeth-as-Jack stated. "Yet it's our only lead."

"To the _Pearl_." Barbossa ordered.

_888_

James paced the brig. He had been in there for a couple of hours and to pass the time, he was thinking of a million different ways he could kill Elizabeth for pushing him over the side of the ship. But as he was pacing, an idea came to him. There was a small port-hole in the brig. Maybe, if he could get it open he could escape and get the stupid octopus tentacle. He walked over to it and pulled. It opened easily. James studied it. He figured that he could probably fit through it, since he wasn't a very big man. James started to climb through it. He fit. He continued to wiggle through it. He was about halfway out when suddenly, he realized he was stuck! James wiggled harder. He was not moving at all.

"Bloody hell." He mumbled. "I knew I was eatting one too many crumpets at tea!" He sighed. He was going to be stuck like this for a couple of hours or until of the crew members found him. That was going to be interesting.

"I hope the rest of them are having better luck than me." He mumbled.

_888_

"You've got to be kidding me!" Elizabeth moaned. "Why now? Why us?"

The group was standing at the docks and the _Black Pearl_ was no where to be found.

"Who could have possibly taken it?" Elizabeth was complaining. "All the people who usually take it are all right here."

Beckett just laughed. "Now this is quite funny!"

Elizabeth-as-Jack was about ready to kill him.

"This puts a dent in our plan." Barbossa mumbled.

_888_

Juana smiled to herself. She felt like she had gotten away with murder, but she got away with that everyday. She couldn't believe her luck. The _Black Pearl _had been sitting there for her taking. It was the perfect way to get back at Jack Sparrow for stealing her map! His ship was the fastest in the Caribbean! No ship could out run it! Juana was unstoppable now!


	16. The Danger of Bringing Up One's Mother

Juana rowed the boat to shore. Three figures stood on the beach waiting for her. She pulled her little boat up onto the sandy beach and made her way over to the figures.

"What took you so long?" Scarlett asked.

"I was..._delayed._" Juana smiled. She pointed to the dark ship behind her. "I've got what you asked."

"Indeed." Scarlett nodded. She glanced over at Sol. He was holding Will's arm tightly. It didn't matter though. Will was tied and gagged. He couldn't escape. And if he did, where would he run to? The cannibals? Sol handed Juana a large bag filled with coins. She seemed pleased.

"What are you going to do with the whelp?" Juana asked.

Will mumbled something no one could understand.

"We're handing him over to the cannibals. They'll appreciate more food for their tables." Scarlett smiled. "Will you translate?"

Juana nodded.

"Excellent! Let's get moving then."

* * *

"We're going to steal _that?_" Elizabeth-as-Jack asked Barbossa.

"Aye. A fine vessel she is at that." Barbossa stated.

"I'll say!" Vincent added, sarcastically.

The group was standing at the docks in front of a small fishing boat. It looked big enough to hold maybe three people.

"It doesn't look safe..." Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body said.

"Or very sound..." Vincent went over and poked the small boat. Suddenly, there was a loud boom! The group jumped back. The small boat broke in half and began to sink to the bottom of the ocean. Barbossa glared at Vincent. Vincent gave a small smile.

"Oops!" he blushed.

"Now, I might cut out ye tongue!" Barbossa snapped.

"Actually, I think it's a rather good thing." Beckett stated, taking another sip of his rum bottle.

Barbossa grabbed it out of his hand. "Give me that!" Barbossa began to drink.

"It would have been a good thing if _you_ had been in the boat." Elizabeth-as-Jack mumbled.

"So, now what? Not that I want you to win." Vincent said. "Well, I do want to stop Scarlett but still. We're never going to make it to the Cannibal island now!"

Elizabeth-as-Jack thought for a moment. She smiled. She turned to Beckett. "How did you get here again?"

"Easy." Beckett repiled. "I used that ship!" He pointed out to the large Navy ship sitting out in the middle of the ocean.

Barbossa stopped drinking and smiled. "Aye! We'll steal_ that_ ship!"

Suddenly, two men appeared out of the shadows.

"Hey! Look! A Navy ship!" one exclaimed. "Unguarded and all!"

"Let's _steal _it!" the other one exclaimed. The two men then ran over to a small longboat and jumped in. They then started rowing like mad towards the ship.

"They're going to steal our ship!" Elizabeth-as-Jack exclaimed.

"Well, you mean _mine _ship." Beckett corrected.

"After them!" Barbossa shouted.

The group jumped into another longboat. Vincent and Elizabeth-as-Jack started to row.

"Can't you go any faster?!" Elizabeth-as-Jack exclaimed.

"Well, it's not my fault I have short arms! It's bad genes! If you're going to yell at anyone, yell at Uncle! His side of the family has the short bloody arms gene!" Vincent yelled.

"Don't bring my family into this!" Beckett shouted. "And it's not my side...it's your mother's side with the bad genes!"

"Don't bring my mother into this!" Vincent shouted back. Vincent then grabbed the oar and knocked it into the side of Beckett's head. Beckett fell to the floor of the boat with a thud.

"Why did you do that?!?" Elizabeth-as-Jack shouted.

"He insulted my mother!" Vincent huffed.

"Row, you idiots! Row!" Barbossa shouted. "Or it's the plank for both o' ya!"

"We don't have a plank..." Vincent added.

"Just row!" Barbossa shouted. "Row like the devil it's self was upon you!"

"My uncle _is _the devil." Vincent told him.

"ROW!" Barbossa screamed.

Elizabeth-as-Jack and Vincent rowed harder.

"Oh! We're catching up to them!" Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body exclaimed.

"Does he really think he's you?" Vincent asked Elizabeth-as-Jack.

"Yes." Elizabeth-as-Jack sighed.

"You can't be taking over our ship!" Barbossa yelled to the men.

"It's ours now!" one of them exclaimed.

The two boats were side-by-side now and quickly approaching the ship. Suddenly, Vincent stood up and smacked the two men in the head with the oar. They both fell, unconscious.

"Well, that's the solution to everything now. Just hit them in the head with an oar! Lovely!" Elizabeth-as-Jack stated.

"What? It works doesn't it?" Vincent replied. "I mean, a person can't be a problem when they're unconscious!"

Suddenly, an oar came out of no where and smacked Vincent in the side of the head. Needless to say, he fell to the floor of the boat unconscious. Elizabeth-as-Jack glared at Barbossa who stood over Vincent, oar in hand.

"Master Vincent won't be a problem to us anymore!" Barbossa smiled.

"Am I the only sane person?" Elizabeth-as-Jack sighed.

"Don't forget me!" Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body exclaimed.

Elizabeth-as-Jack sighed again. "Exactly."


	17. Captain Jack's Revenge

Elizabeth-as-Jack made herself comfortable on a barrel, since there was no one to talk to because everyone had been knocked out by the oars. And Elizabeth was certainly not going to talk to Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body who was brushing his hair.

Suddenly, there was a moan and Vincent stood up slowly. Elizabeth-as-Jack and Barbossa had dumped him next to the boat, while they kept Beckett inside. He was too fat to move.

"What happened?" Vincent asked.

"Barbosaa knocked you out with the oar. Serves you right." Elizabeth huffed.

"But--my mother!" Vincent complained.

"Oh. Shut it!" Elizabeth said as she took off one of Jack's boots and chucked it at Vincent's head. Vincent ducked.

"What's your problem?" he asked, not that he really cared.

Elizabeth sighed. "I'm worried about Will...no thanks to you!"

Vincent pretended to be hurt. "What? What did I have to do with anything?"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and didn't answer the obvious answer. Vincent walked over to her.

"Sorry. It's my job to make you miserable." Vincent grinned. "Uncle's orders."

"Where are the dresses kept?" Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body asked.

"There are no dresses on a Navy ship." Vincent mumbled.

Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body gasped. "What?! No dresses?! I can't wear the same bloody dress three days in a row!"

Vincent turned to Elizabeth. "Is her..er..she...it giving you a headache or is it just me?"

"No, it's not just you. And he wouldn't be like this if you had done your job!" Elizabeth huffed.

Vincent was thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe, I can help cheer you up. How 'bout we rearrange his memory?"

"How?" Elizabeth asked.

"Like so..." Vincent walked over to Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body. "You know what I think? I think you look fat in that dress!"

"What?" Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body gasped.

"Oh. Come on! You're not really Elizabeth...your Captain Jack Sparrow!" Vincent exclaimed.

"Then who's he?" Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body asked, pointing at Elizabeth-as-Jack.

"Err...my mother." Vincent lied.

"Then I can see where you get your ugliness from!" Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body snickered.

"What is with you pirates and insulting my mother?!" Vincent exclaimed.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"She's ugly!"

"That's it!" Vincent rolled up his sleeves. "I don't care if you are a girl...I'm going to hurt you!"

_SMACK!_

Jack-who-thinks-he's-Elizabeth-trapped-in-Elizabeth's-body fell to the deck with a thud. Elizabeth-as-Jack stood over him with an oar.

"That was just getting ridicious." Elizabeth told him. "Plus, my body would have beat you up anyway. I did you a favor."

"Ughhh...what happened?" Jack-as-Elizabeth asked, sitting up slowly.

"Jack?" Elizabeth asked.

"Of course it's Jack! Who else would it be?" Jack-as-Elizabeth snapped.

Elizabeth sighed. "Good."

"Why didn't you think of that before?" Vincent asked.

"What's he doing here?" Jack asked.

Elizabeth brought him up to date. Stating how Beckett was behind it all, how they needed Davy Jones to re-make the antidote, and how Will had been captured. Jack-as-Elizabeth laughed.

"You sent _James?"_

"Of course. It was either that or kill someone." Elizabeth explained.

"So what's going to happen when Jones finds out he can't die." Jack asked.

"I have no idea." Elizabeth confessed. "We hadn't thought of that."

"Well, I know. Jones will just drop him off in the bloody locker." Jack stated. "Ha. Good."

"It would be rather nice, if you want to stay like this." Elizabeth stated.

Jack stopped. "I'm good, actually. James will do fine...I think."

"I love how much faith you have in him." Vincent told him.

"I think you should have killed him." Jack mumbled.

"Ugh..." Beckett sat up in the longboat. Jack-as-Elizabeth gave out a girly scream before running behind Elizabeth. "Or him."

"Where am I?" Beckett asked, looking around. He pointed at Vincent. "Who are you? Actually, who am I?"

Jack came out from behind Elizabeth. "He doesn't know who he is."

"Yes, thank you for pointing out the obvioius." Vincent mumbled. "I must have hit him harder than I thought, then."

Jack walked over to a very confused Beckett. "What are you doing?" Jack yelled.

"I...um--" Beckett stammered.

"Not working is more I like it!" Jack yelled.

"Who are you?" Beckett asked.

"Who am I? Who am _I_?" Jack exclaimed. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow! That's who! And you are my servant!"

Beckett studied Jack-as-Elizabeth. "But...you're a girl."

"I know what I am! But I know what you're not....WORKING!" Jack-as-Elizabeth yelled. "Stand up!"

Beckett stood straight up. "Now, I believe that my cabin needs some redecorating. Hop to it!" Jack ordered.

Beckett nodded like mad. "Yes, sir...er..Miss!"

"NOW!"

Beckett ran off to the nearest cabin to start redecorating. Elizabeth-as-Jack and Vincent stared at him with disbelief.

"What?" Jack asked.

"You turned my uncle into your personal slave?" Vincent exclaimed.

Jack-as-Elizabeth shrugged. "Of course and why not? He deserves it. He turned me into this and he fired me and left me to die...sunk my ship which caused me to go to Jones..."

"We get it." Elizabeth mumbled.

"Ahoy!" Barbossa shouted. Jack screamed again and hid behind Vincent.

"What's he doing here?" Jack asked.

"He's helping us." Elizabeth explained.

"He's not going to maroon me, is he?" Jack asked.

"Er...no." Vincent replied. He looked at Elizabeth, confused.

"Jack and Barbossa go way back." Elizabeth explained.

"Oh."

"We're catching up." Barbossa smiled, pointing out at sea. The three of them looked. The Cannibal Island waited in the distance.

"Is it just me or does that floating piece of land look like the place where the people wanted to eat me?" Jack asked.

"No. It's just you." Elizabeth lied.

"Oh. Good." Jack smiled.


End file.
